INTERTWINEDIVINE

I left a draining vet tech job to own my truth as a dominatrix. This is my story of burnout, healing, empowerment, and reclaiming my life.

What happens when you walk away from the “safe” choice for the one that scares you — and excites you?

I used to be a licensed veterinary technician. On the surface, it sounded like a dream job: caring for animals, helping families, making a difference. But behind the scenes it was emotionally exhausting, physically demanding, and paid so little it barely covered my bills.

Even then before I ever stepped into my role as a dominatrix, a thought lived quietly in the back of my mind: There has to be more than this. I didn’t know it yet, but one day I’d learn that the moment you stop hiding is the moment you start taking your life back.

One night still haunts me. It was a chaotic day, overbooked with euthanasias. Near the end of my shift, there was one last euthanasia — an elderly dog, dehydrated and weak. Two techs had already tried to place an intravenous catheter, but his veins had collapsed. I felt awful knowing I’d have to poke him again. I got it in on my first try, handed him back to the assistant, and rushed to my next task.

It wasn’t until I got home that night that it hit me: I never even looked at his face. I never said hello, never gave him a gentle pat, never acknowledged his life before ending it. That’s not why I got into vet med. I didn’t sign up to push animals through like factory items. I could barely talk about that moment for years without crying.

The truth was, I had been feeling out of touch for a long time. I was barely allowed to sit with recovering patients before being rushed into knocking down another for surgery. I went from smiling every day, knowing I was making a difference, to wondering how I could possibly escape — all while being told I’d basically reached my cap in pay and not to tell others because I “made more than them.” What was I truly doing there?

I started to check out. My mind would wander, and I’d distract myself with my dominatrix work daydreaming about marketing, sales, and new ideas while sitting at the clinic desk. I’d only really come alive on the slowest days, when I could sneak in planning or work on content between patients. But over time, I realized even that wasn’t stimulating or challenging me anymore. My heart wasn’t in it, and my brain craved something bigger.

What started as a side distraction slowly became the main thing I cared about and my vet tech job started to feel like the thing in the way. That’s when I knew I couldn’t keep living a double life forever.. That secrecy came with a heavy weight of shame and guilt. I was living a half-life, hiding a huge part of myself to keep others comfortable.

It took small, slow moments to speak my truth. I started unblocking friends from seeing my domme content online. I used to feel so ashamed picturing them coming across it. Once I started owning my content more and stopped caring about who might be watching, I took a bigger step: telling my hairdresser. Then my chiropractor. Then my dermatologist. I never hid this from my family, though their support has been wishy-washy. I understand why, given the stigma, and I still work on not feeling guilty about how it makes them feel.

When asked what I do for a living — or catching up with old friends who ask — I went from bashfully saying it under my breath, followed by a “don’t judge me hehe,” to looking them in the eye, smiling, and saying with confidence: I am a dominatrix.

Their perceptions, judgments, and assumptions do not define me or my happiness.

I’ve gotten all kinds of reactions. Silence. A million questions. Or “Omg teach me how to do that!” I went from over explaining and trying to convince people “it’s not what they think,” to answering questions with small, deliberate details without feeling the need to justify myself.

The first real shift came the day I decided: if I quit my job, I would give everything to making my dominatrix career work. And I did. I tripled my income.

The second shift came years later, after honing my craft, growing my audience, and finally allowing myself to live my truth openly. Therapy helped. I had to dismantle the idea that I needed to live my life based on what’s “socially acceptable.” At the end of the day, I wasn’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t doing anything illegal. And I was finally happy.

Because here’s the thing: being a dominatrix isn’t just about kink.

To me, it’s about being in control of your own life enough to guide someone else through theirs. I’ve helped so many individuals realize there’s nothing wrong with sexual liberation. I take pride in showing my submissives that a dominatrix can improve far more than your sex life. A true dominatrix helps their submissive grow in all areas — so they can show up as their best in their sub space. Because everyone — even adults — deserves to make time for fun.

The truth is — your career, your achievements, your hobbies… none of them define who you are. They’re expressions of you, not the total sum of you. I’m even working on stepping into a new identity as a content creator, and honestly? Saying that out loud feels scary in a whole different way. Some days it feels like a lie, like I haven’t “earned” that title yet — but that’s the point. Owning something before you feel ready is part of becoming it. And if you’re afraid? That’s a huge sign that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and growing!

I stepped off the hamster wheel. I stopped hiding. I started living.

Today, my work is mine — I create, I play, I push boundaries. I wake up excited, not dreading another shift. My income reflects my effort, not my employer’s budget. Most importantly, I live in full alignment with who I am. No masks. No shame. No pretending.

It’s wild to think everything changed because I took a leap into something that scared me and thrilled me at the same time. That’s the thing about power: you don’t find it by playing it safe. You find it by trusting yourself enough to bet on you.

You have free will. Once you start stepping into your power and doing what you truly want — not what you think you should be doing — you’ll experience your own shift. Maybe it won’t look like mine. Maybe it will be something completely unexpected. But it will be yours.

And when that day comes, you’ll understand exactly what I mean when I say:

The day you stop hiding is the day you take your life back. And for me, the day I said “I am a dominatrix” without flinching was the day I claimed all of it.

So here’s my challenge to you: What’s your truth? The one you’ve been whispering, hiding, or watering down so it’s easier for other people to swallow? Say it out loud. Say it without apology. Let it take up space. Let it make someone uncomfortable. Because the moment you stop bending your life to fit their comfort, you start living in your own power. And I promise: nothing feels better than that

I’m finally stepping into what I’ve always wanted to share — my journey in self-growth, creativity, and living intentionally. You can follow along and explore more on my site. This is just the beginning, and I’d love to have you here as it unfolds.

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